The Special Ed Mechanic: The Cars In My LIfe

Thankfully, this was never officially my car... just the one I learned to drive with... a 1972 Volvo 144. Seen here in it's last days at the Wingate household, it wears a fairly new black paint job. However, when I was learning to drive, it was adorned with a horrid sea green coat. It had no power steering, power brakes, nor any power at all for that matter. When I chose to complain about these rough accommodations, my father was quick to remind me that he learned to drive on a 20 year old Model A Ford with a steering wheel the size of a hula hoop, and quite often no brakes at all. He also reminded me that he didn't have the luxury of an automatic transmission, because he had a three speed manual tranny with a shifter the size of a baseball bat that had no reverse or second gear, so I should just quit my bitchin'. When I finally acquired my license they offered the Volvo to me, and I promptly turned my nose up... I told them I'd rather walk than be seen behind the wheel of that thing, so they rushed right out and bought me the Camaro I had been wanting. Yeah right... they did, however, buy me a really comfortable pair of shoes and a backpack.

In 1985, they finally broke down and bought me this: a 1975 Chevelle. (Mine was burgandy with a white vinyl top, however and didn't look anywhere near as good as this one.) I thought it was what I wanted, but I was wrong. This car was plagued by various mechanical problems due to all the new emissions crap GM was playing around with in the early 70s after they decided that they no longer wanted to build cars that actually worked. The seat belts had been cut out of it, and the dash featured an AM radio and an analog clock that always read 6:30 unless you went around a really sharp turn, in which case it would read as much as 6:41 or as little as 6:22 depending on the direction of the turn. It had an anemic 350 with a 2 barrel carb, and it vomited two quarts of oil from the tailpipe every time I started it. It also broke two ball joints, a water pump, an alternator, and the transmission. And THAT was just the first month. So, fearing I would go into debt in gas and auto parts, I traded it in on my next car.

My second car was a 1980 Toyota Corolla SR5 that I acquired in early 1987. For some reason, I decided that I wanted a straight shift even though I didn't know how to drive one yet. The car had a 3TC 1.8 liter 4 banger, which meant that I could drive all week on five dollars worth of gas. It came with a Kenwood tape deck and a set of Pioneer TS-X7 speakers that mounted in the back quarter windows. The Toyota rolled over 100k miles the week after I bought it, but it still carried me to college and work for six years with very few problems. And the problems it did have were relatively simple ones... a busted radiator hose, a starter, a fan clutch, and a hole in the gas tank. In other words, the perfect car for someone like me.

I traded the Toyota in on this 1992 Ford Probe in 1993. It was another 5 speed car, and another 4 banger. It had only 15k miles on it when I drove it off the lot, and I kept it until it had 138k on the clock. This car remains, to this day, the BEST car I have owned, and the only car I've ever wrecked.

The only problem it ever gave me was one that took three mechanics and an exorcist to fix. One day, while traveling out of state, it began to buck wildly when I took off from a stoplight, and it must have looked like I was learning to drive a stick all over again to passing motorists. This bucking was accompanied by an odd clicking noise from the dashboard. Other than that, it ran fine. The third shop I took it too was the one that finally figured it out, and they only figured it out by accident. This mechanic worked on it for eight hours, test drove it, hooked it to every machine he could think of, and still came up empty-handed. He was just about to close the hood and give up when he accidentally bumped the air intake hose with his elbow, and the engine bogged. He bumped it again with the same result. He had another mechanic sit in the car while he bumped it, and sure enough... he heard the weird clicking sound from the dashboard. What happened was this... the intake hose had a tiny crack that opened whenever the engine torqued, allowing too much air to be sucked in, which caused the mass airflow sensor (or some kind of sensor) to try and shut the engine down. The sensor shutting on and off was what caused the clicking sound. A $70 replacement part did the trick, although a 98 cent roll of electrical tape would have done just as well had I been able to find this out for myself.

Much had changed by 1997. I was married, had two kids, less money, and a lot less hair. The Probe hung in valiantly for over four years serving as the family car, but we were outgrowing it. My wife and I had enjoyed the intimacy of being crammed together in the front seat for a few years, but what kids do for intimacy is what lithium does for psychiatric patients. Needless to say, the intimacy was losing it's luster in a big way, and we realized that we had to trade cars. By this time, the Probe had lost it's appeal due to the accident, and was just transportation. At any rate, we ended up with a brand new 1997 Honda Passport, the first new car I'd ever owned.

The Passport's appeal lasted just long enough for me to discover that it refused to run on anything but premium gas, and that it sucked down twice as much of it as the Probe had... and the Probe ran fine on regular. All in all, it's been a good car if you consider the fact that it never left us stranded anywhere. But there have been a number of things that really irked me about it. First off, the fit, finish, and overall quality is not something I would have expected from a Honda. A few years before, my parents had bought a brand new 1992 Honda Accord. It was a 4 door, 4 banger, 5 speed. I LOVED that car-- everything about it was done with the utmost precision and attention to detail, and it drove smoother than anything I had ever driven before or since. AND, when they traded the car off (much to my chagrin, I might add) it brought OVER 10,000 in trade. Yes, over 10K for a four year old car! Unbelievable! Of course, it might have had a lot to do with the fact that my mother washed it every 47 minutes and refused to drive it any farther than the end of the driveway for fear it might come into contact with dirt molecules.

Anyway, I made the mistake buying the Honda Passport instead of it's cheaper sister car, the Isuzu Rodeo, thinking that i could expect the same quality and resale value just because it had the Honda emblem on the grill. What a goober I was. It wasn't long before the car began to exhibit a few quirks and that I began to realize that I could have had more. But despite all this, I've held onto the Passport even to this day. Probably because it took me so friggin' long to pay for it.

I still own this car, a 1984 Trans Am, as well. This one is equipped with the 305 HO motor and a Borg-Warner 5 speed manual transmission. It also has a really nifty and functional hood bulge for the cold air induction. It hasn't moved in over two years and I'm beginning to suspect that the only way it will ever move again is if we have another earthquake in Alabama. I'm currently trying to pay someone to haul it off for me. Read the sad story of my TA here, and see more pictures here. As much as i love this car, I'll take $700 from whoever is willing to come get it. (Yes, I AM serious.)

I bought this car, a 2004 Mazda, 6 on May 21st 2005. As I am now driving 130 miles per day, I needed something that got decent gas mileage and something that could double as a family car just in case the Passport does break down someday. The car appears to be ultra-reliable, although acceleration is rather anemic with it's 2.3 liter 4 banger. I does have a few creature comforts none of my other cars have had, such as a decent factory stereo system, keyless entry, power seat, manually shifted automatic tranny, and a cavernous trunk capable of swallowing a Sea Doo. AND... and notice this is a BIG AND... it runs on 87 octane. Woo-hoo!!! I've gone from spending $130 a week on gas to spending less than $70 and gone from 15-18 mpg to a steady 27-28 mpg!

The car had just 23k miles on it when I drove it off the lot that sunny, wondrous Saturday afternoon. It's not a GTO or a Ford F-150, (what I REALLY wanted) but it'll do for now, and because it's a Mazda, I know it'll last a while. I figure I'll keep it a couple of years and by then I'll be ready to buy what I REALLY want.

What drew me to this car compared with the other mid-size sedan offerings from domestic and import makes, is that this one just plain looks better. It looks sportier than the Accord, Camry or the Malibu with it's chrome dual exhaust tips and optional spoiler.

So... Special Ed... What's next?

Well, as I've said... I'd really like the Silverado SS, Ford F-150 Lightning, or a new GTO. I also really like the Hemi Dodge Magnum and the Rumble Bee. But alas, I suspect that my next vehicle purchase will be made for my daughter, who turns 16 in 2008.

Anybody know where I can find a 1972 Volvo 144?